Whenever I approached homeschooling my son he has always been interested but I would notice an air about him that seemed things weren't sinking in. I cast off this observation as "he's a boy." Or I would think I couldn't quite figure out what his learning style actually was. I would try all sorts of back-door approaches and fun motivators.
And all those attempts do appeal to him. He's ever-smiling and always wants to do his best. But he also gets frustrated easily. He often feels confused when he's reading, writing or working. His confidence in his academic abilities started to p.l.u.m.m.e.t. My concerns rose significantly. I kept "waiting" for his maturity to catch up to his capabilities. I kept waiting for his intellect to develop to the point that it would all finally come together.
We decided to have him formally tested for learning disabilities through our local school district. The majority of the people I consulted about this suggested avoiding the school district testing at all costs. Go private testing, I was repeatedly advised. Private testing is very, very expensive. I looked into it. It's too expensive for me to even pretend I could make affordable payments because my health insurance does not cover educational testing.
I made the dreaded call to the school district. Within 6 months my son sat in a school psychologist's office for all kinds of testing. He enjoyed himself. Yes, I said he enjoyed himself. He liked visiting the school. "They have tennis courts, a swimming pool and baseball fields, Mom." I laughed because we live in an affluent school district. I also laughed because I imagine he thinks he has all this at his disposal whenever he feels inclined to swim, or play tennis. I can just see him packing a bathing suit in his schoolbag in case he decides to go for a swim.
Their testing indicated that Jake does, in fact, have significant deficits between his IQ and his performance. They did assign him a label for special needs education if he were to attend the Middle School. The program that's designed especially for him (IEP) was presented to us in a meeting with the principal of the middle school, the school psychologist, a teacher representative from his grade and the special education teacher.
I was nervous and apprehensive to meet with the school personel. I've heard plenty of accounts of what personel "really" think of homeschoolers. I've heard absolute outrageous experiences about the treatment of some homeschool families by school staff.
I am happy to say this wasn't our experience, at all.
In fact, the principal was so encouraging and validating that I actually considered sending Jake to school! The teacher, who initially seemed a bit cold warmed up by the end of the meeting and offered helpful suggestions and encouragement before we left.
However, their "specially designed program" was not much different than what is being provided to Jake at home, if not moreso because he's getting individualized education to the extreme, no? Finding out the particular challenges Jake has in regards to how his brain processes information has been helpful to us and has eased the previous frustrations and anxiety that was present within Jake's homeschooling.
We are in the beginning of adjusting Jake's "individualized learning program." His needs are such that a formal tutor may be required. If the school offered services "cafeteria style" I would take them up on it.
I have met many homeschoolers who harbor as much animosity towards school as they feel is directed at them by the school. I am fortunate that the district in which I reside has not fostered any outward contempt towards my family for our choice. They didn't imply that if I had sent Jake to school that his challenge would have been caught sooner or that somehow homeschooling was a disservice to his budding intelligence.
I really did go into that meeting with armour ready, defense prepared. I never had to be defensive.
When I thanked the principal for his time his look was one of surprise and he replied, "He's a child in the district." That statement left me feeling that whatever this team's personal feelings for homeschooling were, good or bad, those notions didn't surface. They simply responded to my request. I don't know, it just put the whole thing into perspective for me.
If I send Jake to school or I don't send him he'll still have to learn to work and live around his challenges. He'll need to feel confident about his abilities to keep moving forward in pursuing his interests.
Not sure if going to school will make or break that process...and the same questions pops in my mind about homeschooling. I do know he's homeschooled right now and I need to maximize his experience and the ideas I learn about how to do that.
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Thanks :)