Strategies for Learning Differences

My son has learning differences.  In addition to his writing, which is formally labeled "dysgraphia," he has processing issues.  He's quite a smart boy that processes information slower than the average bear.  He needs extra think time when he's asked a question or reflecting.  To help this think time move along he benefits from visual models and examples, like graphic organizers.

So far, this has helped Jake's writing process 100 percent.  It's very exciting for both Jake and me to have a start to a writing project and see its progress.  There's actually time for editing. 

Example:  Jake participates in a weekly writing workshop.  I thought he needed a class without his sisters, he could write with others and share ideas and he could gain confidence by seeing his writing in print.  Jake is a kid who needs a reason to write.  He doesn't write for the fun of it like his sisters do (or his mom.)  The workshop gives him that reason.

So.  The group is putting together a weekly newspaper.  His first contribution was a comic strip.  It was well-done and the joke made sense.  His next contribution is an article.  He had the choice to write fiction or non-fiction.  I really thought he'd choose the latter because non-fiction is easier for him to write....just reporting facts.  But he always surprises me.  It just reinforces that he's such a creative thinker and really enjoys a challenge.

The main challenge for him here was to start.  For me, starting is simple.  I have my own "prewriting" I do in my head, a little on paper, etc. and then I'm off and running.  Jake doesn't do that.  I googled graphic organizers for a newspaper article and downloaded two I liked.  He worked well with the sentence starters.

Because Jake's dyslexia/dysgraphia combined with his processing speed his phsycial writing presents with spelling problems and almost unreadable script.  What we do is dictation.  Jake dictates his ideas to me, and I jot them down on the white board.  Seeing his ideas on a large white board helps him clarify.  I jot down ideas instead of writing complete sentences to model for him a prewriting strategy for him to use.  By the way, Jake's writing frustrations are relieved when he uses dry-erase markers.  I don't know why, but this helps.

After he has his ideas down and he's worked through sequencing and flow, he goes to the computer.  Here he can type his article the way he thinks it should go.  Typing removes the blocks that physically writing seem to cause for him. 

Once he started I noticed he added a couple of other things he didn't mention initially.  He brought in another "character" and dialogue.  It's good progression for him.  Writing is starting to take shape.  After he types his first draft it helps Jake to take a physical break.

Lots of physical breaks in between brain power helps keep him moving through the day with a positive attitude and renewed energy.

We'll begin editing tomorrow using the whiteboard again.  On Friday when we usually do a writing project together we'll do another newspaper article of some sort.  Now that he's done a "walkthrough" he'll feel confident when our newspaper project is introduced on Friday.

I think we are both relieved to be noticing significant progress. 

Get Thee to a Pink Tower!

Luke is stacking everything....

I didn't snap a picture of him playing with the stacking cubes because everytime I point a camera at him he stops what he's doing and asks, "I see me?"  His focus while playing was so intense that I didn't want to interrupt it...so I just watched near him until he invited me to play with him.  He is getting better and noticing which boxes should be stacked next.  When he chooses one that's too large, he asks me to hold the stacked pile on top, without disturbing it, while he places the correct sized box in its proper spot.  Then he instructs me to replace the rest of the stack....it's a lot of pressure not to drop those stack boxes while holding them midair!  When I do, he shakes his head and says,"Oh Mom.  That's okay, I fix it."  He's so forgiving...


Luke has also been pulling out his puzzles.  I have a closet that's deep enough to serve as my homeschool material supply closet.  I usually have a bunch of stuff I rotate for Luke's space that I keep in there.  Well, Luke's not interested in playing over in his cute little area that's all set up just for him.  He prefers to sit in the tiny space afforded in that closet.  I found him in there the other day:

Here's where I found him while I was making his lunch one afternoon:

He barricaded himself into the closet and then got comfortable.  Not too long after:

Rest well, sleepy boy! 

The Planets, Consonant blends, Home Ec., Bubbles

This week has gone off course in a good way in our homeschool.

We are studying History and Science on alternate weeks.  This allows for a better flow of focus on our history/science topic and allows for more in-depth study of anything interesting that comes up, as well.  Elaina has discovered the overlap between history and science these last two weeks.

Last week, our History week, we read about Copernicus and Gallileo.  Learning that Copernicus is referred to the "Father of Astronomy" she took an interest in the planets.  She's pulled some books off our shelves about them, googled them and is creating a poster display to hang on her ceiling following the activity in Story of the World.  She's been working on this all week, our Science week, and so has put her animal study in Apologia aside.

I came down this morning and she had her work space all set up for herself.

Her planets painted and labeled, ready to be hung.

On Wed. the kids attend an art class for 1 1/2 hours.  This is the highlight of our week.  My mother-in-law graciously offered to take them to and from and then have them at her house for the day.  (One reason is the class takes place close to her house and far from mine.)

Because their classes are at different times, one in the AM and the other in the PM, Mom-Mom decided to give Tara some cooking lessons on her stand-by delivered meals; i.e. Shepards Pie & Chicken and Rice.  She wants Tara to write down the recipes and then print them out and create a recipe book, "Grandma's Cooking" or something like that.  There are so many things I love about this!  The Home-Ec., the special time with Mom-Mom, the creativity and the prospect of what the final result will be, and having all our favorite home-cooked meals from Mom-Mom in one place!  This is homeschooling at its best.

This picture is actually Tara in our kitchen making caramel apples....but it fits, doesn't it?

While they're at Mom-Mom's I put together some schoolwork for them to take.  Usually it's just a math practice or a brain teaser puzzle with their library books or science/history reading.  One of these puzzlers I packed used consonant blends as the focus.  This was just a really fun way for Jake to practice his spelling using blends.  He picked up on the pattern of the puzzle pretty quickly.  It's like we unlocked a box with new ways to combine letters; str, skr, scr, spl, spr. 

Now why at 11 1/2 years old is Jake just seeing these combinations?  Because even though he has been shown these before he will still spell the word "spray" s-p-e-r-a-y.  His learning difference is two-fold when it comes to writing.  He's an excellent decoder therefore he can spell any word phonetically.  He knows all the various sounds of the English language (ala The Writing Road to Reading).  However, his dyslexic tendency is to mix up the letters when he writes them, for ex., "scratch" might look like s-c-e-r-a-c-h-t or "increase" might look like i-n-c-r-a-s-r-e.  Though if he read them he would know they were incorrect.  He could verbally spell them correctly, as well.

The other reason these consonant blends seem "new to him" is because his processing is such that he needs lots of model and practice of the same material over and over.  However, once he "sees" it, once he knows it, it's never forgotten and always applied. 

So, this silly little worksheet puzzle about 3 letter consonant blends did the trick...or at least all the stars were aligned and he was in a good frame of mind and he got it that day.  So, I'll just give him more fun puzzles to practice other three letter combos and he'll notice it himself in his own writing.  (Look Mom!  There's a three consonant blend!)

While we've all been busy with these things Luke also wants to be busy, too.  Making colored bubbles, suggested to me by my friend whose homeschool is Montessori-based, saved many of our mornings!

Not sure if I execute as she does as I am not trained in Montessori.  But I put dishwashing soap into a bowl of water, he mixes it with a wisk to make bubbles then he takes droppers (I have pipettes) and transfers the colored water onto the bubbles. 

This was so fascinating to everyone that as you can see in the picture, Elaina waited her turn and then I caught Jake in the kitchen at the end of the day:

uh....could you just ignore the mess?  yeah, thanks....

That's our week and I'm glad to be back on track with my online homeschool record!  (Please give me back Be Not Afraid, Google!!!  Please????)


Linking up with Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers

"What's Something Funny I Did?"

I have heard this question by every one of my children at some point.  Mostly it's asked if I'm telling a funny story about one of the other kids.  It's come up alot lately since Luke is at a particularly entertaining age.  I get jammed up on occasion because I don't remember every funny utterance or activity, just the same stories that stick out in my brain.

In fact, I had already forgotten a funny about Luke until Tara saw a picture and laughed saying, "Don't do it...." and I gave her a strange look.  She said, "Don't you remember? When we'd say that he would put his finger in his nose?"  No.  I must've blocked that out.  But it was just only 2 years ago and I have forgotten.

So, as I remember the funnies, I'll put them here and they can read all about how amusing they were and are!

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real}

Well, it's official.  This new blog is official, I guess.  I'm linking up with one of my favorite blogs, Like Mother, Like Daughter for their Thursday linky about the context of the everyday.  I sure do miss Be Not Afraid and I still hope I get it back, but, in the mean time.....

{Pretty}

Tara baked this chocolate cheesecake today. She couldn't find my springform pan so she used this round pan.  I think it looks quite pretty.

 {Funny}

This is Luke's view from the tub.  Yesterday he lined these toys up and then proceeded to tell them to move down to the other side of the tub.  When he got no response he looked up at me and said, "Mom, they won't go."  I had to break it to him that they're toys.  He's not buying it.

 {Happy}

Okay, so on Be Not Afraid I featured 6 Clowns in a Car...this is the photo that went out in the Christmas cards I remembered to send:  6 Clowns in a Shopping Cart

{Real} 

Poor Tara....she is so upset her cheesecake fell apart when she tried to take it out of the pan....wish we could've found that springform for her.....still delicious....

Where's Mars?

I took Cassie to the airport this morning.  She's flying solo to visit her friend 5 states away for the weekend.  She booked the flight, and paid for it, herself.  Since she's legally an adult going beyond the security check was not allowed for me.  My husband suggested that I could just drop her off and go.  She has her boarding pass and her carry on, there wasn't any reason for me to hold her hand. 

I should preface this with the background info that when my children turn 13 they fly solo to visit my sister in Cape Cod.  Because they are minors I am permitted to hold their hand through security and ensure they board.  My sister catches them from the air as they parachute into her arms.  Kind of.  Anyway, the exchange is painless and the kids look forward to this special weekend with their aunt.  So, Cassie has flown by herself before as that would explain why she was not the least bit nervous.

I did caution her to NOT let her guard down for a minute; especially in the bathroom, to be aware of her surroundings, people, etc.  I couldn't help myself - I added that this WAS an international airport and she didn't want to enter the bathroom, only to find an ether-laced hankerchief on her nose and mouth and wake up in some unbeknownst country in God-knows-what kind of situation. 

She thought that I was the pot calling the kettle black with how much I complained about the amount of TV everyone watches.

She humored me and texted me after she got through security, when she boarded the plane, when she arrived, when she was in her friend's car on their way to her dorm and I just got word that she is at the dorm.  Again, I can't help myself - I texted her to have fun, be safe and take care of her diabetes. 

Do you think I'll still be saying that when she's 40?  Do you think she'll roll her eyes or move onto just ignoring me?

Don't worry...I also texted her to make sure her friend returns her to the airport at least 2 hours before her flight because this airport is smaller than ours and the lines at security are Disneyworld long! 

When I returned home I wasn't sure what to expect.  I wasn't as long as I anticipated so I really thought I'd walk in on the kids playing the Wii or watching a crummy movie. 

Instead I walked in to a quiet house.  Tara built a fort in her room and was reading to Luke in it.  Jake was making an early lunch and Elaina was working on her planet project.

"Where's Mars?," she asked when I walked in.

On the other side of worry in some unbeknownst country called adulthood.


"Here, let me help you."

What Week is it?

Well, I see that I have relied a wee bit much on "Be Not Afraid" for my homeschool record-keeping.  I started to enjoy keeping track of it so much on my NON-SPAM blog that I stopped writing things down in my actual planner.

Now I don't remember what week I'm in and I need to sit and figure it out.  I think I'm at about week 18 or so?

I'll have more clarity when I can sit by myself and figure it out...when can I sit by myself?

The weeks are filled with regular outings for different kids.  It's been that kind of school year...everyone needs seem to be so spread apart that we haven't done too much together stuff.

Tuesdays are Jake's writing workshop and Elaina's guitar...that puts me in and out of the house between 9 and noon.

Weds is art for everyone and I am hanging with Luke for the day since my mother-in-law has the children at her house for the day and does the drop-off/pick-ups...though since Cassie's been home from college, I've had a couple Wednesdays to myself (sure wasn't looking over my homeschool planner, that's for sure!)

Thursdays, Elaina has a regular ice skating date with a friend that last week my other kids crashed, and would like to continue to do so.

That leaves Monday and Friday where we are all in the house together able to do some focused schoolwork.  I am struggling to make this work for everyone as, like I stated, they all seem to be in a state of needing one-to-one attention/instruction/guidance/etc.

Throw into the mix that I need to pick up my Michele from high school by 2:35 everyday and the days feel crammed. 

Yesterday, Monday, we accomplished the necessaries.  Michele went to Washington D.C. to participate in the March for Life.  I was hopeful that not having to pick her up would open up more time for us to do some fun stuff. 

But by about 2:00, I was feeling done.  They were acting done.  We were done.  (Sounds like dictation sentences.)  If I were talking to another mom and she was telling me this my next comment would be, "Sounds like you got alot accomplished today."  But I'm not feelin' it.  Because if I were the mother on the receiving end of that comment today I would be thinking "You're full of baloney."

Well, I'm hoping to have it together by Friday, in time for the weekend.  Right now I have to bake no-sugar banana muffins for Jake's writing class at 9:00 AM....I guess I could've done that yesterday afternoon...why rush...

Pssst....Let's Keep This on the Down Low.....

Before I homeschooled, had teenagers, read blogs, or recovered my faith I used to know everything.  I felt sorry for the other mom's who didn't have the awarenesses of how children develop like I did.  Poor suckers.  Surely when their kids were unruly, misbehaved, fresh or otherwise succombing to the sinful nature that is inherent in being human they had no one to blame but themselves...Oh!  The ignorance!

So I'm in the library with a hood and sunglasses checking out "Toddler Time, 150 Easy Ways to Keep Them Busy, Sare & Happy" and "Year 'Round Activities for Three-Year-Old Children."  On the cover of these books are images of calm, toddlers playing contentedly.  I wanted something in the line of "What the Heck Can I Play with This Kid When His Brothers and Sisters are Gone for the Day?" or "Acitivities that Engage a Three-Year-Old for More Than 45 Seconds."   I'm hoping the librarian doesn't comment on the reading material and strike up a conversation forcing me to deny the 5 other children I have and lying that this is my first child.

Seriously.

I have no idea how to parent an only child. 

There is a 7 year gap between my last two children.  Bill jokingly refers to the first five children as the "first family." 

I am feeling as terrified as a new mother.  On the upside the terror has smothered any residual smug that I had lingering.
I'm really unsure if it's my lack of experience with hanging out with just one toddler all day or if I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.  Either way, I am trying to recover that "go with the flow of the child" thing with my dear Luke.  What holds me back is "going with the flow" with Luke might mean taking that giant parachute most toddlers use as a fun circle game and pitching ourselves off the roof with it.  I'm just not up for that, you know?

I was whining to my sister that I just don't recall the other kids being so.....busy.  so.....daring.  so......dangerous to themselves and others.

   My sister said I sounded like Mom with selective memory loss. 

Mom?  SHE'S A GRANDMOTHER!  She's allowed to have selective memory loss based on being out of the game for so long!!!!!!! 

Yeah, Mom, she says.
Don't you remember Jake climbing to the top of the refrigerator in the middle of the night?  Don't you remember when he used to climb on top of Bill's truck and pee off the side?  Don't you remember when he snuck out of the house and was found running down the train tracks?  Or the stitches in the eye three weeks after stitches on the outside of the other eye?  Don't you remember......stop.....please.....I beg you.....just. stop. 

What did I do?  Was I freaking out?  I don't remember freaking out?  I don't remember not knowing what to do with him?   And it's not that I don't know what to do with Luke, either.  I've done lots with him.  All the regular toddler stuff.  Playdoh, cutting (one of his favorite things to do which is why I've purchased three wired mouses for the computer last year before wising up and getting a wireless mouse.), puzzles, blocks, (but prove to be dangerous as he mostly enjoys chucking them as those heavy things have a better feel in his throw than a silly old ball), reading books to him, trucks, cars, trains, etc. 

But he really wants to jump, run, move, jump, jump, jump. 


We went to the ice skating rink last week.  His main interest was the upper level, about 15 feet up, and asking if he could jump.  Uh, no.  Another parent with three children under the age of 5, all sitting calmly on the bleachers watching their older brother skate watched in judgement at my son scaling the bleachers for over an hour.  His baby girl, looked to be about 1, sat in her stroller the entire 2 hours we were there. 

Sheer amazement.  No WAY would Luke have EVER sat that long.  In fact, I've passed that stroller along because he just won't sit in it at all...he prefers to be moving.  No sitting.

Meanwhile, I am flipping through the pages of these reads shaking my head.  No, that won't work.  Already did that.  We'll try again.

I'm going back to the library to find a toddler activity book with a title like, "Activities for Three-Year-Olds That Can Only Be Done While Moving Large Muscles."

Any recommendations?

Due Date

I am just arriving home from a baby shower that I attended out of obligation to my sister.  I don't know the mom-to-be very well. 
My sister asked me to attend her baby shower and to be honest, when she mentioned the girl's name my brain recalled no reference.  My sister beat around the bush until she finally just blurted that she was Michael's friend...didn't I remember?

Oh.

...and she's my sister's friend, too.  And my sister felt uncomfortable attending her shower alone because the young woman is connected to the memory of our brother.

I didn't want to go in the worst way.  I think I behaved rudely to my sister when she mentioned it again to me.  I would delay responding to her texts about it and replied blankly, as if I forgot, yet again, who this girl was, and why was I invited anyway?

I met her exactly three times, three years ago.  Once at my brother's 50th birthday party and then twice again a month later at his bedside when he died and at his funeral.

My fear and sadness surrounding very personal things hindered my support to my sister.  One of those things is the memory of my brother.  I didn't want to remember that he died, you see.  It's easier to pretend someone lives far away and just couldn't make it at Christmas.  It's easier to think they're working.  I don't have to connect to the reality that my brother died if I just act as if he is down the basement watching TV at my mom's house when I visit, knowing he used to be there.

When I heard my mom was going to the shower, too, I made a decision to lighten up.  ....and it was a decision, just like it had been one to be rude, aloof and blind to my sister's reaching out.

I'm ashamed of my attitude towards my sister.  She needed me to go to Michael's friend's baby shower.  She needed me to lighten her mood, to support her.  She expected it of me because she felt that I could.

I went, albeit begrudgingly.

Once there, of course, nothing felt so serious anymore.  At our table sat another pregnant young mom, so full of plans and anticipation.  We all laughed together.

Then the newly expectant grandmom came to us to welcome us and acknowledge that we were Mike's family.  My mom's demeanor lightened, Theresa seemed comforted and I smiled appreciating the acknowledgement...but inside, very small, I heard, "He's here."  Then I chuckled remembering his funny smile and off-the-wall remarks that just cracked me up.

Now I don't believe Michael is sending me other-worldly messages that he's with us.  What I think is that all the locations and situations I've been placing Michael to protect myself from the pain of losing his brotherly love has shifted.  He's moving closer.  In my mind, I placed him where he would have really been...there, at the shower, where no man should tread!  The reality that he couldn't be there moves me closer to my own "due date."

I recall this similiar shift after my father died.  It was about 3 years after he died that I sat at his grave and cried. 

My friends always comment how "brave" I am at funerals.  In fact, I gave the eulogy at my brother's funeral. 

I'm not brave.  Just the opposite.  I am too cowardly to share my grief.  It's also a coping mechanism that allows me to emotionally detatch until it's "safe."  Whatever safe means.  On the upside I am able to hold it together to speak, represent, allow others to share their pain. 

But I know better than to believe that is how my feelings will remain. 

I feel my psyche is approaching it's own due date.  I'm feeling closer to the acceptance that Mike is gone.  Then I will begin the process of missing him.  



  

Just Perfect

So "Be Not Afraid" is under spam review.  Welcome to "I Mean It".  I hope to be able to get Be Not Afraid back, but I'm afraid I probably won't.  I'd like "I Mean It" to be focused on my family, my experiences in mothering, homeschooling and reflecting and living my faith.   No tutorials - I just can't pull stuff together with the confidence that I could possibly inspire a tutorial...and that goes for the intangibles as well as the tangibles.   But the theme running through my posts is my struggle against perfectionism. 

Just as I'm typing this my 11 year old son came downstairs...and it's way early.  Hunger woke him.  He's ready for scrambled eggs on toast.  Before I even laid the pan on the new range we were forced to purchase on Christmas Eve I deemed it too messy to cook my precious prince's eggs upon.  I broke out the vinegar and putty knife and went to work.

20 minutes later Jake commented that the eggs smelled funny...was I cooking them in vinegar? 

See, perfectionism makes me procrastinate.  It stops me before I start.  I almost deleted this blog to change the name before I finished this post!

Last year, in the confessional, a newly ordained priest gave me wonderful counsel that I repeat daily at one point or another:  Only God is perfect.  You are not He.  God revealed, "I Am Who Am" and I am to rest in Him.